All the small things

People are always saying you have to enjoy the little things in life. I don’t know about that in all things but as a Peace Corps volunteer that is definitely the case. When most volunteers get to their country of service they have huge dreams in mind. They’re going to change the world! Everyday will be a great adventure! Everything will be a smashing success! This is more true than it seems. It just takes a little change in perspective. You have to really enjoy those little things.

CHANGE THE WORLD!!!

The world can’t change over night. I’ve been, and continue to be, a big movie fan but those jerks lied to me. Turns out it takes a little more than 2 hours and a strong chin to change the world. Who knew? So I’ve had to change my expectations of what a changed world looks like since I’ve been here and I’m happy that I have.

It’d be really nice to have huge numbers that said our work here has reached thousands of people and generated tons of new food and wealth that has drastically changed this town and country as we know it. Maybe the seeds we’ve planted will grow quite big someday in the future, long after I’m gone, but for now they are quite small. That’s ok though. Everything starts small. The best stuff does really. Plus, with this kind of work starting small is the best way to get the deeps roots set in and have the most sustainable impact. There are about 700 people who live in my town. 9 awesome women have started and are maintaining home gardens for the purpose of feeding their families better year round. Working with these 9 women and their gardens is the best thing I’ve ever accomplished or been a part of in my life. Better than graduating college. Better than any game I’ve ever won. Because these women are doing a good thing the right way for the right reason. I believe that they will continue to do this after I am gone. I am hopeful that they will pass it on to their children and their children’s children. Now these 9 families will have better nutrition for a long time to come. The children will be healthier so they will learn and achieve more. They will be better able to provide for the next generation and the benefits will keep growing. In my dreams these home gardens now lead to doctors, teachers, and lawyers in a few generations. You know, world changers.

I can’t say what will happen with these women or any other people who hopefully have some good things to take away from my and Peace Corps’ presence here. Right now I know they are eating healthier and more diverse diets than they did before. They are saving some money that woud have been spent on food. They are just a little less hungry. Maybe that’s all it will be. Even if that’s the case, their world has changed slightly for the better.

ADVENTURE! HELL YEAH!

“Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things.”

Yoda is cool and all but he lost me on the Jedi thing with that line. Who the hell wouldn’t want adventure and excitement? And that’s what I came here to experience among many other things. If you read my last post you know this hasn’t turned out to be the case. At least not everyday. However, perspective will change those expectations. A closer examinations of those pesky little things reveals that a lot of those seemingly slow days are pretty damn adventure packed.

This realization also has a lot to do with remembering what it is you are actually doing and where you find yourself. Where I was 2 years ago and where I am today are light years apart. That in and of itself makes even the slowest, most boring day a grand adventure. It’s about appreciating the experience. I thought that I would be doing crazy stuff every single day. I don’t. Turns out it’s just most days. I’m in a Malagasy music video which I get recognized for all of the time in public. That counts for enough adventure for quite a few slow days I would think. Most importantly, I’m doing something that I’m pretty sure is making the world a little bit better. Doing that included moving literally half way around the world for 2 years, learning a new language and skill set, and living in and being accepted into a tiny community of brand new people from a different culture. That’s kind of adventurous. I’m no Indiana Jones (although my brother soon will be) but I think I have plenty of excitement in my life.

ALL SUCCESS ALL THE TIME

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...What a silly person I was. This one I will say is probably more a me thing than a general Peace Corps things. I’d like to believe most people came in a bit more grounded than I did. I had big ideas and they were all going to work. Looking back at notes and timelines I made up from my first 6 months is pretty funny. I don’t know where we were going to find the time and resources to do all of those things. But, again, in perspective things have been a great success.

I already mentioned our 9 gardening all stars. There are also quite a few chicken raising all stars and one all around all star that deserves her own section. The mom of the family whose home I live in is what makes me think that everything here has truly been a success. She is incredible. Small backstory, like most women here she did not come close to finishing her education. She did make it farther than most, 8th grade, before having to drop out to help out around her family’s home. She maintained a good reading and writing level by attending every single training or workshop on literally anything that she could. She continued to educate herself. And she works her ass off. She has 4 children and a grandson who are much better off in the world for having her as a mother. As I am for having the chance to work with her. Ok, back to the now. She has been my co-trainer/interpreter for almost everything I have done here. She knows the techniques we have taught almost better than I do. She is incredibly prepared to continue this work for years to come and she will. She is an incredible motivator. I have needed that as much as anyone. Our main goal is to create sustainable change. Leaving and knowing someone like her has learned everything she could and will continue to educate the community makes me feel good that what we have done can be sustainable. If only through the sheer will power of this woman.

Not every single project I have tried to get off the ground has been a success. Most haven’t. And the “successes” have been relatively minor. However, what has been done is pretty sustainable and can be built on. People lives are slowly improving in ways that can be maintained. This is the greatest success we could every really ask for. Anything else would be icing on the cake.

This experience has been incredible so far. So many ups and downs personally and professionally. Often in the same day. I have learned so much that I couldn’t bring things to balance if I was here 100 years. The best thing I have learned is to maintain perspective on everything you do and experience. Things will not be perfect and amazing all the time. They shouldn’t be. You have got to keep your eyes out for those little things. They’re easy to miss. Also, I’m definitely not a Jedi.

Why hello there blog, long time no see.

It's been a while since I've written anything. To the like 7 people that read this I say I'm sorry. We Volunteers here in Madagascar have a saying “Madagascar, the place technology goes to die.” There is an inordinate amount of computer, tablet, camera, and phone failure here. That happened to me. My computer woke up one day and decided it was done working. I took it to our IT guy in the capital. It took a while but he got it fixed for me. It now works but doesn't seem to want to connect to the internet. Luckily Steph, who visited recently, brought me a new one I had ordered off the internet. That one had no problem connecting to the internet but is a Chromebook (which I didn't realize when I bought it) so is pretty useless without internet access. So I have 2 computers that, between the 2 of them, can almost do the job of one computer. The definition of first world problems. Anywho, I'm back to being able to write now. Yay!

Since I last wrote a lot has happened. My projects are moving forward. I have almost completed a grant for my chicken raising project that will require me to beg you for donations. Thank you in advance for anything you can spare. Any little bit helps and dollars go a long way here. For example a regular beer here, which is 65 cL or almost 40 oz, costs around 75 cents. There will be no beers bought with grant money but that shows just how far a dollar stretches in these parts.

The people I work with now have 5 gardens up and running in my town. That is very exciting to me. It is a relatively small victory but hopefully one that will have long term benefits. The longer I'm here the more I realize that small victories are all you can expect. I take pride in just opening people up to new possibilities however small they may be. In the past, the idea of a home garden was not even a possibility for the people of my town. Now there are 7 people (in the 5 garden spaces) growing food for their families close to their houses for easy access. They are improving the nutrition of their families ever so slightly. This is without a doubt the best thing I've done here. When I leave here I'll have an advanced degree in tempering expectations. And I say that with as little bitterness as possible. Change is hard. Any small change is worth celebrating. Showing someone one new thing, or one new vegetable they can grow, opens their mind to the idea that they can make other changes as well. That's the hope anyway.

I continue to do nutritional cooking trainings as well. These are my favorite thing to do here. It's just a big cooking demo where we disguise a nutrition training as a free food giveaway. Everybody learns something and goes away less hungry than they were when they came. I have also had the women who best grasp the subject lead the last few trainings to get them used to training a group and leading others. This way, again with hope in my heart, when myself and Peace Corps are no longer here they can continue the work of improving their community.

Stephanie just visited me which was awesome. She got to see my site and we explored some amazing beaches and parks in the Northern part of the island. A good time was had by all.

So, what's new? I think the biggest thing is that I am incredibly bored for long stretches of time. Before joining Peace Corps, and during all of the trainings, they sort of brush over the fact that a lot of your time you will have nothing to do. Rightfully so I think. No one with adventure in their heart and positive world change practically bursting from the depths of their soul wants to here that their 2 years as a Volunteer will largely be spent passing the time between meals. The preparation and planning of which quickly become the highlight of most days. I eat all my meals with the family I live with. This is amazing for many reasons but robs me of that small

daily high point.

The first few months at your site, even up to one year really, your head is spinning. You are learning a new language. Living in a new culture with a strange way of life unfamiliar to you as a first world dweller. A lot of time is spent learning new language and finding your way around. It's spent planning projects that largely will not come to pass for many reasons. Most of those reasons are unavoidable, out of your control, and no ones fault. The acceptance of this will also take up a lot of time and mental energy. Every training or meeting must be meticulously planned for. Notes planned out in adavance. Relevant vocabulary learned and noted beforehand. Time flies because everything is new and simple tasks take a ton of time. So that first let's say 9 months is a blur.

Then you get comfortable. You learn the language, at least reasonably well. There are still many struggles of course. There will always be that one person or those people who you just cannot understand. Most conversations still contain at least one word you don't know that you'll have to infer from context or grind things to a halt for the clarification of. But, preparation takes less time. Especially because the types of things you are meeting about and training on are the same. You've already prepared for this ten times over. The word for “wrinkled” still escapes you but for the rest of your life you will know how to say, “Has that chicken already been neutered? And vaccinated?” So time slowwwwwwsssss down. Without all that prep work and lack of understanding a lot of things are mundane and over quickly. There are only so many people to visit, garden beds to plant, trainings to conduct. Once you've done your days work it's 9 am and the day is still ahead of you. “Well I've worked out, done my yoga, checked in on MamanyJustin's garden, fed the chickens, scheduled a follow-up with Miandryzandry about the progress of his chicken coop, and watered my garden. It's 8:30am. I guess this book isn't gonna read itself.”

So, that all being said, I am having a good time here. I've had some really good success with some more still hopefully coming. My time here is rapidly coming to a close. I have about 9 months left. Plenty of time to get more things done and not nearly enough also. I am dealing with some boredom issues. Whoa is me. I'll have a lot more to say on a wide range of topics I've read up on when I get

back. And I've been know to talk a little bit so be ready for that I guess.

I'll be much more regularly updating this now that I have access to a computer regularly. Next time I'll have a more uplifting topic. Until we meet again...

Tamana

One of my favorite parts of learning a new language is finding those words that are untranslatable between your new language and your first one. Those wonderful words that express a concept that would take sentences to explain in English. There are quite a few of those in Malagasy but I have a favorite. It is the word “tamana”.

“Tamana”, as the intro should have hinted at, is difficult to express in English. There is no one word just like it. The closest I can come is “content” but it isn't just that. It means comfortable, happy, content with the place you live and your living situation. Specifically a new place. Like the new town a volunteer moves to that is far from family, friends, and the comforts of home. People are constantly asking “Efa tamana mo ana?” which basically means “Are you comfortable and happy living here?” They always want to know if you like it here. That you enjoy living in their town and country. If I am away from my town for too long (like a weekend) I am asked if I am not happy here on my return. They think that I may be staying away because I am not settled here. More than anything, people here want you to be happy with your place and living situation.

I love the concept of “tamana”. I think we could all use it in America. Our society is very much obsessed with moving on and up. Whether in our jobs, our houses, or our possessions. Even in our friendships to a certain extent. People are constantly trying to upgrade. Of course, it can certainly be argued that this drive is what made America the world's superpower. The continual need for “better” certainly can have positive side effects. I know that I have been, although not necessarily in the possessions department, consistently not content with my station in life. Wherever I have gone, whatever I have done, I always thought that something else could be better. I like to think this experience is helping me learn to be content and happy with what the present brings me. It has helped me slow things down and enjoy what is happening now because there really is no other choice. It's either that or be miserable all the time. My life right now is pretty great despite one gaping hole that exists in it. But that will be filled in about a year so that's all good. I am definitely “tamana” here. One of the goals of Peace Corps is to introduce the culture of our host country to people back in the US to increase global understanding and fellowship. I want to introduce “tamana”. Try to achieve it. If anything, it'll lower your blood pressure.   

Rain, rain, more rain, and a vacation note

I've been back from my awesome European vacation with Steph for about a week and a half. It has rained every single day. Hard.

I never paid much attention to rain before got here. It was a nuisance but one not felt too much. Rain meant driving with the windows up and having to turn the TV up a little if it was really coming down. Sometimes even getting wet on the walk from the car to the front door. You know, real pains. Here it's so powerful. The steady pounding on my metal roof. The deafening roar water and aluminum make in concert when a cyclone is coming through. Roads that are absolutely decimated. Once recognizable as routes for people and vehicles they are now mud pits to be traversed slowly if at all. That's when they are visible at all. Quite often roads are transformed into muddy rivers or impromptu ponds. The deforestation amplifies the power of the rain. Water runs breakneck down hills grabbing all soil and small plants in it's path. Don't transplant your rice at the wrong time. The little seedlings might not survive a 3 day deluge whether from drowning, being swept away, or death by bludgeoning from above. The most amazing thing of all about the rain is you can see it. Not just drops here and there but great walls of it. You can look down the road and see the curtain of water rushing towards your up to then dry self (okay, honestly, your slightly sweaty but heretofore not drenched self). When it's really going you can't see 100 yards down the road. Not from fog but sheer precipitation. Trees that fill my sight line as I stare absently out my window disappear. People materialize from gray nothingness. I'm certain this effect happens in the US as well. It's just a lot harder to see through all of the buildings and endless houses that populate the US that I know. All of this only happens for 3 months or so every year.

The rest of the year is bone dry. From the end of April, when I got to my town, until December it rained twice. Just 2 times. And I am being generous in calling that mist rain. It's like an A for effort. How the hell do you grow things in a place like this? 3 months of Biblical rain followed by 9 months of Saharan drought. It's hard. That's a major issue I have to work around here. We're getting there. With the permagarden techniques we are implementing the extra water from now can be captured and stored in the land for later use when we really need it. That's the idea. My job is to convince everyone to do it. So far I have 2 converts. That is a big victory. Hopefully there are more to come.

Vacation Note:

I posted pictures on Facebook that will do a better job of describing it than my words ever could. Steph also posted some. I fell like most people reading this are also my friend on the book and can check them out. However, here is a quick summary: First of all, seeing Steph was amazing. Plus, the work she is doing is really cool and she is awesome at Romanian already. Anyways...we went to Paris, Budapest, Bucharest, And Chisinau and Biesti Moldova. Biesti is Steph's site. It is really cool and the people are amazing. Lucky for them they got a pretty good volunteer. It was cold pretty much everywhere. By the time we got to Paris 13 degrees Celsius felt tropical. One recommendation, go to Budapest. It's a great city with lots of cool historic sites, a beautiful river, good beer, and good food. Plus tons of people speak English which makes it a lot easier. It's also much, much cheaper than places like Paris or London. Go before everyone figures out how cool it is and costs go up!